As confusing as it might sound, there are times when “yes” does not actually mean “yes”. Now before you get all sassy with your anti-feminism bullshit, look at it this way: a couple is getting hot and heavy. One part of the couple coerces the counterpart into having sexual relations. The counterpart does not say no – in fact, maybe they even say yes – but they still do not want to have sex.
This can be seen by their obvious signs of discomfort or even by their unwillingness in general. As a wedding officiant in Oklahoma City, Tinsley Keefe is constantly sharing advice with her clients on how to keep a marriage completely consensual. For starters, marital rape does exist. A person in a relationship or marriage should never feel pressured to have sex. On the occasion that they do, they might let their significant other have sex with them simply because they do not feel like fighting them off. Sometimes it is too easy to say “yes”.
Sometimes it is too easy to let someone rape you – but make no mistake, it is rape. This is why Tinsley Keefe wants to help her Oklahoma wedding officiant clients (past, current, and potential clients alike) with identifying what it means to consent and what it means to respect someone else’s consent . . . or lack thereof. To begin, it is important to know that nobody is entitled to sex. Sex is something sacred, or at least it should be. If someone does not wish to have sex with you, be respectful of their wishes.
If you are trying to start sexual relations with a person and they do not give you a flat out 100% “yes”, then do not continue in your quest. The future consequences are not worth the temporary sexual frustration. If you are ever unsure of your partner’s willingness to pursue in sexual relations, you need to ask them. It is literally that simple. As silly as it sounds, you should be constantly asking your significant other if your advances are okay. It is important to respect the human body – males and females alike.
Ask your significant other if it is okay to touch them – to kiss them – to graze their privates – and of course, to take it to the next level. The two seconds it takes to confirm consent will not ruin the mood and will prevent many hardships that come after the sexual relations are over. After all, sex should be about making the other person feel good and not about making them hate themselves, their bodies, and their lives. Consider the pain you are putting someone through when you take away their right to consent: it is a pain that can last a lifetime.
Tinsley has attended a large number of weddings while working as a wedding officiant in OKC, and because of that she has dealt with her fair share of clients abusing the true meaning of consent with their soon-to-be life partners. Due to such a tragic issue even existing, Tinsley stresses the value of knowing your significant other’s ability to respect consent before marrying them. After all, do you really want to start a life – a family – with someone who abuses the meaning of “consent” . . . which, by extension, is also abusing you?