You’ve pondered whether or not to wait until your wedding night to engage in sexual intimacy. Perhaps, you and your fiancée have already had sex, but you’re considering stopping until you’re married. Maybe, you’re a virgin, but your curiosity is heightened. You’re human, and you have human urges to copulate. This is normal. And you shouldn’t feel ashamed about it. Dr. John Patrick Keefe II, a wedding minister in Oklahoma City, says there are a few reasons why waiting to have sex can be a good thing. Check them out:
Abstinence Promotes Good Communication During Courtship
When you and your fiancée are not having a sexual relationship, you are honing your communication skills with one another. As you may have already been told, communication is a big part of marriage. Instead of being enraptured by each other’s physical bodies, you can focus on good conversation instead. Yes, physical intimacy is a way to relate to each other. However, it overshadows other forms of communication. You don’t want to avoid the true work that it takes develop emotional intimacy as a couple. You can learn so much more about one another through deep conversations than you can through sex.
You’ll become Better Friends
Did you know that physical relationships can give young people a false sense of closeness that doesn’t exist? If you and your fiancée are having sex, you might feel that you are emotionally close, but in reality, you’re just caught up in the passion of sex. Personal conversation creates friendships and helps you to discover each other’s qualities and flaws.
Both of Your Parents Will Have a Better Relationship with Each Other
Usually, your parents aren’t going to want you to be in a sexual relationship before you are married, especially if you are teenagers or very young. If you both abstain from sex until you are married, this is showing respect for each other’s parents. In turn, your parents won’t harbor any bitterness towards one another. This can be especially crucial for the young man to follow as he and his parents will be judged more harshly for having sex than the young lady.
You Won’t Feel Obligated to Continue the Relationship
Seriously, sex changes everything. Let’s say that you and your fiancée are not feeling as if you should get married anymore. Perhaps, you’ve just grown apart, or you’ve realized that you aren’t a good fit for one another. This is fine, and it’s a good thing to realize these things before you walk down the aisle. However, if you’ve been engaging in a pre-marital sexual relationship, breaking ties with one another can be very hard, especially if it’s only one of you who is having these feelings of doubt. You might feel you “owe” the other person a certificate of marriage because you’ve been sleeping with them.
Sex is a big deal. Take some time to really think about whether you should be doing it before you say “I do” or if you should abstain.