Are you planning on attending any weddings this year? If so, you might want to check out this updated list of wedding guest rules. Times, they are a changin’ and so are the etiquette standards for those invited to be in attendance at weddings. John Keefe says you can pretty much take all of the old-school wedding rules you have learned from your parents and your favorite romance movies and bury them in the backyard.
Put away your cell phone, people.
This really should be a no-brainer. Would you want someone leveling up on Bejeweled Blitz from his or her smartphone while you are at the front of a church professing your love to your spouse-to-be? Nope, you would not. We understand that you also want to document every moment of the wedding via Facebook, Twitter, and snapchat, but really, that is not necessary. Plus, this is not YOUR wedding so let the bride and groom do the uploading of pictures. Dr. Keefe says to slip your cell into your pocket and leave it there, sister/mister.
There’s no need to blow your bank account.
We understand that weddings are expensive, even when you are just a guest. I mean, if you are like me, you need a new outfit, shoes, manicure, hairstyle, makeup, the works. However, there is no sense in spending a couple hundo’s just to be a guest at a wedding for an evening. You have got bills to pay, baby! You also don’t need to spend the mortgage on a wedding gift. Should your wedding gift be classy? Yes. Should it break your wallet? Hell, no!
You can skip the rehearsal dinner.
Dr. John Patrick Keefe says this one is more for people who are actually in the wedding party. In prior years, it was unheard of not to be in attendance at the rehearsal dinner. However, for some of us po’ folk, this might mean flying into the wedding state a day early, and that is just too expensive and inconvenient. The bride and groom will understand if you cannot make it. Politely excuse yourself from the rehearsal dinner via RSVP.
Sneak out the back door if you must leave the reception early.
If you are yawning at the cake table and find that you are falling asleep on the dance floor, don’t stay until the bar closes or the DJ makes the last announcement about the happy couple. Quietly gather your things and hit the road, honey bun. It is all right not to tell the bride and groom that you are leaving, especially if it is a tad early as this might startle them and make them think that something is wrong. You do not want to cause them any stress on their happy day now do you?
Don’t assume you can bring a guest.
If your invitation does not specifically say “plus one” then don’t assume that you can bring a date. Period. John Keefe II says this is very rude.
If you RSVP “yes,” you have to be in attendance.
Seriously, if you are not sure that you can come, just state that. Don’t tick the “yes” box when you do not plan on attending the wedding. Weddings cost a lot of money, and there need to be a people count to determine how much food, liquor, seating, and gifts need to be purchased. If you say you are going, then you go.