We all have friends that have wasted their time on a boyfriend or girlfriend that is nothing but toxic. It can be a short process, but sometimes it is also a long process. Tinsley Ariana Taylor Keefe, wedding officiant for Lifelong Wedding Ceremonies in Oklahoma City, notes that the process can also involve a marriage that should probably not be happening. What do you do when you constantly convince your best friend to break up with their good-for-nothing significant other . . . and that significant other suddenly proposes?
The best thing you can do is smile and nod and hope it ends badly now before it ends worse later. Having been to enough wedding ceremonies as a wedding officiant in Oklahoma, Tinsley Keefe also shares her advice on how to nudge the couple in the right (or wrong) direction. If you are absolutely sure your friend or family member is making a mistake then continue to proceed cautiously. The first, easiest, and unfortunately least effective way is to talk with them.
Sit them down away from everyone, look them in the eye, and tell them they are making the biggest mistake of their life. If you want to be the nice friend, you can rephrase that to ask if they are really, really sure they want to marry so and so. Explain to them how they are still so young – how they have their entire lives ahead of them. If the kindhearted, friendly discussion did not convince them, then ensue onward. Tinsley Ariana Taylor Keefe’s experience as a wedding officiant in OKC has taught her the real gems of marrying beneath you: the weddings are easy to ruin.
You read that right. You get to ruin a wedding. Be prepared to pull a real-life Wedding Crashers. In order to achieve this accomplishment, dictate whether or not your friend’s monster will care more about a wedding dress or a wedding ring. If the answer is dress, then sabotage the dress. They will be so angered that blame will instantly fall on your friend; most likely ending in a very messy break-up. If the answer is ring, then steal the ring from the cute little toddler that will be holding it. Hopefully the result will be a very angry break-up.
The outcome might end with your friend hating your guts and never speaking to you again. You might also have to pay fines or damage fees that will cause you to file bankruptcy on your house. The bank might take your truck and you might live unhappy the rest of your life . . . but at least your friend is happy, right? Right? Yes, they are happy. That is all that matters. Your friend can finally be happy. Your cat is dead and your hair is falling out, but your friend is happy. You can live on in content, knowing you prevented one unhappy marriage of millions. Good on you.