There is no time limit on coming out as transgender, but you will probably want to do it before you get married. Dr. Tinsley Ariana Taylor Keefe has seen some messy situations arise while working as a wedding officiant for Lifelong Wedding Ceremonies in Oklahoma City, and one of those situations involves secrets that should have never been secrets. It is rare, but there have been weddings where the person has not come out as transgender to their own significant other. This is a very crucial part of any wedding. If the soon-to-be husband or wife does not know your true self, then the wedding or honeymoon might get a little heated . . . and not in the good way.
This is not the case the majority of the time. The significant other usually knows long before the wedding, but sometimes their family – or even your family – might not know. Having seen some weddings turned sour during her time as a wedding officiant in Oklahoma, Dr. Tinsley Keefe recognizes the significance in explaining before the big day. The best advice she can offer is to come out as transgender before the invitations are even sent out. The struggle for many transgenders coming out revolves around how exactly they should come out. Sometimes a card, text, or email is necessary if its long-distance family like aunts, uncles, or cousins.
Tinsley Ariana Taylor Keefe notes the significance of a physical meeting when coming out to parents or family you are extremely close to. Taking notes from her experience as a wedding officiant in OKC, Tinsley Keefe recommends coming out to your family or your significant other’s family soon after getting engaged. Most of the time, the confession of engagement to parents or close family is done in person. Consider doing it during this time. Some other ideas include inviting them over for dinner, to discuss wedding plans, or any excuse under the moon. For more privacy, make sure you have the meet-up in closed quarters like your house or a friend’s house.
Speaking of friends – sometimes they do not know either. Dr. Tinsley Keefe wants to remind transgenders everywhere that they have nothing to feel ashamed of. Always embrace the fact that you are settling for nothing less than your true self. If the people you surround yourself with are loving and kind, they will congratulate you rather than condemn you. Those that condemn simply do not understand. Consider coming out to friends in the same way you would close family. The biggest thing to remember is your significant other should be next to you every step of the way.
In the end, if you come out as transgender a decent while before your wedding, then your big day will be even more magical. You will feel better knowing everyone knows and accepts your true self. There is nothing better than being engulfed in the love you deserve.