Tinsley Keefe Advises on the Social Issue: “My Best Friend Is Marrying My Ex!”

We all pray that it does not happen to us . . . but what if it does? No one wants to even explain the situation of your best friend marrying your ex, let alone live it in the first place. However, in her experience as a wedding officiant in Oklahoma City, Tinsley Keefe has come to realize that the situation is more common than not. Thankfully, most of the time the situation is virtually harmless.

Most of the time, the ex is not necessarily an ex of drama, but more like an ex from the past that has long since turned into a friend. Unfortunately, just because the opposite situation is less experienced, that does not mean it is never experienced. In fact, Tinsley has heard so many stories from her clients while working as a wedding officiant in Oklahoma that she has tales to share for days. When people find themselves in this awkward situation, their first thought is usually on where their loyalty lies. If the ex is of no consequence, the issue is usually nonexistent. Yet, if the breakup was on the messier side of things, it can be hard to figure out where the line should be drawn.

Your ex hurt you and it ended badly, but at the same time they seem to be happy with your best friend. Should you step in? Tinsley answers that no, you should not. Unless the situation is dangerous – think possible abuse – you should never get involved. Instead of stepping in, take a step back. Pulling from the conversations had while working as a wedding officiant in OKC, Tinsley explains that the first step is deciding your next move. You can be there for your best friend; supporting them through their wedding and marriage.

You can try to enjoy yourself at the different wedding events, and maybe even work on forming a friendship with your ex that does not jeopardize the marriage or your friendship. Your other option is politely declining involvement in their wedding. If you choose this option however, expect to experience possible anger and/or sadness from your friend. They might be offended. This is why it is very important to utilize open communication. If you explain your reasons or even make up an excuse as to why you cannot make it, they will be more understanding.

Unfortunately, if you do not attend their wedding, you might risk losing the close friendship you currently hold so dear. While your loyalty should always lie with your friend (and not your ex), you also need to consider whether your feelings were acknowledged. Did you and your friend discuss your feelings in the beginning – before the relationship even became serious? If your friend disregarded your feelings, then chances are they are not worth your time and neither is their wedding. In the end, Tinsley points out that attending your best friend’s wedding to your ex is not the worst thing in the world. At the very least, you can enjoy the free food and entertainment.